The “FEAR” question..
By: David Lawn
The Journey Ahead...
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The Sea Angel will travel from Carolina Beach, NC to the South Pacific, to work with Sea Mercy, a 501(c)(3) - www.seamercy.org |
In this first blog post I thought it appropriate to say a
few words about the topic of “fear”. This
trip, this journey of over 10,000 miles by open sea to the South Pacific, the
unknown of getting there and working in a culture and environment I do not know,
of leaving family and friends, has finally come to fruition. It is interesting to me that what began
several years ago, a calling, followed by simply putting one foot in front of
the other, finally had lead me on November 3rd, 2014 to the
lands-end. The time had finally come to actually face the
inevitable outcome of specific decisions made over the last few years. I had said a year prior when someone asked me
what the hardest leg of the trip would be, I said “the first three feet from
the dock”. I knew back then that the point
would be uncomfortable, and it has proved itself to be.
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The Crew prepares to leave North Carolina for the adventure of a lifetime- THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR TREMENDOUS SUPPORT! |
In the last few weeks of preparation and saying good-byes,
the question among my friends of being afraid was prominent; it was sometimes masked in comments like, I
would love to do that but I couldn’t, or more specific like what about pirates,
or storms, or…. Some may call it fear
but since I don’t really like that word, I chose to look at it as the feeling
of simply facing the unknown. An absence
of understanding. Stepping into
faith. Whatever you call it, it is a
distinct feeling that comes when we finally admit that we have to surrender
control.
In reaching deep to try to
understand it more I admit that for me there are at times, at departures or bad
weather, a whole flock of butterflies flutter in my stomach, or that physical
uneasiness that comes when you step out of your comfort zone. I don’t think that it is a bad thing, it is
part of really challenging yourself in life.
As my departure neared I instead began to “fear” what my leaving meant
in my relationships. In a relational sense, I was leaving by myself even though
I have great crew and friends that will always stay in touch. I was “afraid” of that. But what I didn’t realize was something
profound would happen as I prepared to leave.
My close friends and people that I love, opened up their hearts in a way
that touched me deeply. In day to day
life, people, myself included, guard our vulnerability and we don’t always say
what is deep in our hearts. Beautiful
things are kept guarded. It took
something big, a life change, for those special words to be spoken, written, or
shared though hugs. I want to thank
everyone who opened up and exposed their deep thoughts and heartfelt sincerity. I have learned something very valuable. Our hearts are full of love and it is a shame
to not open them up every day and be vulnerable. I don’t want to wait to my last day arrives and
wonder if I should have opened up my heart more. May we all step out and rid ourselves of the
fear to speak of the love in our hearts.
God bless. dl
Editor's Note: To track the Sea Angel's journey, navigate to our Locate Sea Angel Page
My Captain,
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this, more than that, thank you for living it, for being vulnerable and asking questions with the goal of understanding. You are trustworthy and courageous and you are my captain.
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Kind words Mike. Thank you for being with me on those first three feet and beyond. I respect you and cherish our friendship..
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