Sunday, November 16, 2014

The "Fear" question

The “FEAR” question..
By: David Lawn

The Journey Ahead...

The Sea Angel will travel from Carolina Beach, NC to the South Pacific,
to work with Sea Mercy, a 501(c)(3) -
  In this first blog post I thought it appropriate to say a few words about the topic of “fear”. This trip, this journey of over 10,000 miles by open sea to the South Pacific, the unknown of getting there and working in a culture and environment I do not know, of leaving family and friends, has finally come to fruition.  It is interesting to me that what began several years ago, a calling, followed by simply putting one foot in front of the other, finally had lead me on November 3rd, 2014 to the lands-end.   The time had finally come to actually face the inevitable outcome of specific decisions made over the last few years.  I had said a year prior when someone asked me what the hardest leg of the trip would be, I said “the first three feet from the dock”.  I knew back then that the point would be uncomfortable, and it has proved itself to be.  

Sea Mercy Sea Angel Crew
The Crew prepares to leave North Carolina for the adventure of a lifetime-

In the last few weeks of preparation and saying good-byes, the question among my friends of being afraid was prominent;  it was sometimes masked in comments like, I would love to do that but I couldn’t, or more specific like what about pirates, or storms, or….  Some may call it fear but since I don’t really like that word, I chose to look at it as the feeling of simply facing the unknown.  An absence of understanding.   Stepping into faith.  Whatever you call it, it is a distinct feeling that comes when we finally admit that we have to surrender control. 

In reaching deep to try to understand it more I admit that for me there are at times, at departures or bad weather, a whole flock of butterflies flutter in my stomach, or that physical uneasiness that comes when you step out of your comfort zone.  I don’t think that it is a bad thing, it is part of really challenging yourself in life.  As my departure neared I instead began to “fear” what my leaving meant in my relationships. In a relational sense, I was leaving by myself even though I have great crew and friends that will always stay in touch.  I was “afraid” of that.  But what I didn’t realize was something profound would happen as I prepared to leave.  My close friends and people that I love, opened up their hearts in a way that touched me deeply.  In day to day life, people, myself included, guard our vulnerability and we don’t always say what is deep in our hearts.  Beautiful things are kept guarded.  It took something big, a life change, for those special words to be spoken, written, or shared though hugs.   I want to thank everyone who opened up and exposed their deep thoughts and heartfelt sincerity.   I have learned something very valuable.  Our hearts are full of love and it is a shame to not open them up every day and be vulnerable.  I don’t want to wait to my last day arrives and wonder if I should have opened up my heart more.   May we all step out and rid ourselves of the fear to speak of the love in our hearts.  God bless.  dl

Editor's Note: To track the Sea Angel's journey, navigate to our Locate Sea Angel Page

Sea Mercy is a benevolent program developed for disaster and critical care needs for remote islanders. Sea Mercy is a non-profit 501 (c) (3) charity with a simple vision and mission to "stand in the gap" with a service delivery vessel, trained health care volunteers, support equipment, and critical care services as island nations develop their "outer island" health care infrastructure, when critical health care need opportunities are present, or when disasters occur. If our journey with the Sea Angel moves you, we welcome you to consider donating on our behalf to Sea Mercy - they have several ways to get involved and are so grateful for your support! For more information on how you can help, click HERE.


  1. My Captain,

    Thank you for posting this, more than that, thank you for living it, for being vulnerable and asking questions with the goal of understanding. You are trustworthy and courageous and you are my captain.

    1. Kind words Mike. Thank you for being with me on those first three feet and beyond. I respect you and cherish our friendship..

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